Value Essay
My two valuable items that I care for are sneakers and my PS3. I value these things because I always liked sneakers and I always liked playing my PS3 with my brothers and playing the PS3 was always something me and my brothers could do when we were bored and needed something to do. Both of these things are very valuable to me and I’m going to explain why.
I always thought sneakers were cool and I liked wearing them so they are very valuable to me. When ever I am going to get a new pair of sneakers I try to pick some that look good but are some I don’t see a lot of guys wearing because I think sneakers are better when it’s something you don’t always see. I also like sneakers because they aren't always the same like shirts and pants and they add a new style to what you are wearing. I remember when I was younger and I would always see my brother with a new pair of sneakers and I would get mad because he didn't take care of them and they end up getting dirty and I knew if I had the sneakers he had I would be more careful. I like wearing Jordan's and Nike and I prefer Jordan's because I like the Basket Ball player Michael Jordan and he is one of the main reason’s I like Jordan sneakers so much and is one of the reason’s I like Basket Ball so much but there are always a lot of people who wear Jordan sneakers so it doesn't always feel that great when I wear them. I don’t like wearing low top sneakers because they aren't my type of style so when i’m picking out some new pair of sneakers I try to stay away from them. Those are some of the reason’s I like sneakers so much and why they are so valuable to me.
My PS3 is so valuable to me because I had it for awhile and it’s something me and my brothers would always play and we would always try to see who could beat the game the fastest if it was a single player game. I use to play the first PlayStation with my brothers and the PS2 and we use have lots of fun playing games like Crash Bandicoot, GTA, Mega Man, etc. so when the PS3 came out we really wanted it but we had to wait awhile to get it and when we got it there wasn't even that much games out for it so it took us a while to actually enjoy playing it but when the games we wanted finally came out we played it for days. I remember playing little big planet with my big brother and we would try to unlock everything and fight about whose fault it was when we didn't unlock something even though we both knew it was both of our fault. I would play call of duty with my brothers and try to survive more than 16 rounds in the zombie mode and we did it one time but never tried to do it again. Playing the PS3 with my brothers was some of the best moment’s I had in doors and while it wasn't always as great as the times when we use play the PS2 together it was still fun. I enjoyed playing the PS3 with my bros and it was what kept us occupied when we were inside the house.
I prefer sneakers over my PS3 because the great moment’s that I had with my bros playing the PS3 don’t really happen that much anymore and we aren't into playing the game like we use to so it really isn't that great playing the PS3 anymore. So in conclusion I value sneakers more while my PS3 I value but less.
The author seems to value his material items which is his sneakers and his PS3,which isn't a bad thing. he talked about both items and what they meant to him and what memories he made with them. The author mentioned while he played his new video game with his brother they fought a lot, but they also had some good times like when they once survived for more than 16 rounds in the game. I think this essays strength is the lack of digression. Unlike my essay the author stays right on the point and keeps it to a reasonable amount of words. I would advise the author rereading the value essay rubric and include everything he needs to make the essay the best it can be. I also think the author should really take his time thinking out his essay by using interesting words instead of the same words so it can be more fascinating. this will all result in a better essay, because if you don't explore new boundaries when you're writing then your story will turn out unapealing. Great job! i enjoyed reading your essay!
ReplyDeleteThe author here is describing his like for his sneakers and his PS3. When I was reading this essay what really stuck with me was how carefully he chooses his sneaker for example he likes Jordan's over Nikes, and he likes a new never scene style. A strength that I saw in his essay was that he was easily able to prove why he valued these two items and painted a picture of what they were and for sneakers what he liked about certain sneakers. One suggestion I would make on your essay would be to reread and maybe use something so you can plan out your essay before you start writing it so you can avoid resaying stuff you've already said.
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